Mother's Day....Sadness

With Mother's Day coming up I found this song on another blog and thought that it was a quite appropriate song for the way that I feel with everything going on in my life.  I seems like the one thing that I really want is just out of reach.  Everyone around me seems to have a child or is expecting a child and here we are still waiting.  I know that there are a lot of people out there who have been trying a lot longer than we have, but it is all so flustering.  I hate the fact that people who are not ready, cannot afford, or do not want children can have them while here I am wanting a child so bad that I cannot stand it with empty arms.  I hope and pray that soon everyone that I know who is suffering through infertility will get their bundles of joy.

ER (Egg Removal)

 

My awesome fluffy socks for the ER (they kept my feet all warm and toasty)

Yesterday DH and I headed up for our ER.  We had to be to the office by 7:00 so that meant a really early morning for me (Len worked the night shift so he had been up since the day before).  I got up at 4:15 and go my shower and was ready when DH got home and off we went.  I was so excited and nervous all at the same time.  I could not believe how quickly everything happened.  Well, we get to the office and they call me back.  I get into my gown and get in bed.  They nurses start to ask me questions, when was your last meal, are you allergic to any medication, etc.  The anesthesiologist finally arrives and they start looking at the veins in my hands.  All he keeps saying is wow, you really cannot see any veins.  They kept trying to warm up my hands with their hands and warm compresses.  Finally Brian (the anesthesiologist) started to try and put the IV in.  He numbed my hand and then tries he could not find anything.  They tried at least three times in each hand, twice on my right inner elbow, once on the right inner wrist.  After all of this Brian was willing to let Lenny try to get the IV in.  He came back and was about ready to try when one of the nurses came in and would not allow him to try since he was not employed by Ruby.  Right about that time Brian got the IV in my left inner elbow.  I have never been stuck so many times.  It took at least 10 times before they finally succeeded.  I really hope that I go not get sick anytime soon and need an IV.  After the IV was inserted they moved me into procedure room and got me all set-up and started sedating me.  The procedure took about half the time that it took to get the IV inserted.  Brian told me when I woke-up that the first thing out of my mouth was how many eggs did you get?  This does not surprise me at all, but I have no memory of this.  They got 6 eggs.  We were doing ICSI.  They came in and explained the procedure.  They had to use some type of enzyme to eat away out the egg lining.  Once that was completed they would be able to see the number of mature eggs and then would place one of the best sperm into each mature egg.

They just called this morning and confirmed that all 6 eggs were mature and all fertilized.  I am ecstatic!!!!  They will call back tomorrow morning with an update on growth and to hopefully set up a time for the transfer.  I am hoping that all will continue to grow and that we will have a couple awesome ones to transfer and a few more to freeze.

Final Check-up

My socks from today's appointment.  I have loved being able to wear fun socks to my appointments

I had my final follie check-up.  It looks like we will be doing the IVF.  I am trying to be hopeful.  I have 4 follies on the right- 13.3, 8, 18.6, and 14 and 3 on the left- 20.6, 18.6, and 19.3.  I am hoping that the 14 and/or the 13.3 will make it to maturity by Saturday morning at 7am.  I would love to have at least 6 mature eggs to try and get to transfer.  My lining is great at 9.2.  Tonight I will be triggering at 9:30.  Let the massive prayers begin.

So Confused

 My socks from today's appointment!!!

I had another follie check today.  It looks like there might be 4 mature eggs.  I have 3 at 17 and 1 at 15.6 and then a couple smaller ones.  I am just not sure if I should continue with this IVF or look into switching to an IUI.  We are all OOP so this is costing us an arm and leg.  I am just so torn.  I know with my blood work results that we probably never will get a better response. I just wanted this to work so bad.  I am not sure what will happen if this is a bust.  We are putting so much time, money, and energy into this I just do not know how I will recover if it is not successful.

Second Follie Appointment

 

Awesome socks for this appointment!!

This morning I had my second follie check-up.  It went a little better than the first, but still not as great as I had hoped.  The IVF has still not been cancelled, but is not completely on either.  I had 10.3, 15.3, 5, and 9.3 on my right and 18.3, 15, 12.6 on my right.  My lining was 8.1.  I am continuing at the same medicine amounts today and tomorrow and then it is back for another check on Wednesday morning.  I am hoping that at least the six larger ones will be mature and they will be able to retrieve/fertilize them.  It is just something that at 28 I should not have to be dealing with all of this.  I am hoping that they call this afternoon with the results from my blood work.  Hopefully that will at least be good.

Easter

I had an awesome Easter yesterday.  We went to Sunrise Service and then had breakfast at church.  We came back home and get ready for church.  After church my mom came over and we make Easter Lunch for my family.  It was so much fun having my family over.  I loved being able to see my Grandmother.  We had 9 people over for lunch.  I wish that the other people that we had invited had been able to make it, but they had other family engagements.  I wish that I had taken pictures, because it was such a great time. 

This morning I have my second monitoring appointment.  I am hoping for better results than we saw at the last appointment.  I just really want this to work out.  It is so hard to keep going to my appointments trying to be positive going to these appointments when all I get is bad news.  I just really need something positive to happen soon.

My awesome socks for todays appointment....

They are Easter Chicks!!!!

My World seems to be Caving in....

Yesterday morning I had my first follie check...but when I woke up at 4:30 to get ready to head to my appointment I noticed some missed calls and text messages.  I started looking into why I had so many messages.  I called my mom to see if she had heard anything...she had not.  I decided before leaving for Morgantown to check facebook.  From this I discovered that one of my 4-H Interstate Exchange participants from the last two year was killed in a car accident.  I was devastated.

I had my RE appointment….I only have 5 follicles that the RE measured.  He did not mention any others.  They upped my dosage to 150 follistim and 75 menopur twice a day.  This will cause me to use up all the menopur by Sunday which is when I will be switching to luveris 75 plus follistim 225.  This will get me to Wednesday morning.  My next RE appointment is Monday morning at 9:45 (I hate the fact that I have to wait that long to see if anything else is happening possibly wasting drugs, if my cycle is cancelled.)  I am so upset that my cycle might be cancelled.  It is just so much money, time, and energy going to waste.

Last evening the 4-H Interstate Exchange group served the HREA Annual Meeting dinner.  I love catering and spending time with my 4-H’ers especially since we were all suffering from the loss of Alison.

Lucky Socks Exchange

I got my package yesterday when I went home for lunch....I was having an awful day and it make it so much better.  I was so touched with how thoughtful that my Secret Bumpie was.  Nola8446 got me and I love everything that I received!!!!  I cannot wait to wear some of my new socks to my monitoring appointment on Thursday morning.

First Monitoring Appointment

4/18/2011

Today was my first monitoring appointment at 8:30am.  The ultrasound was the quickest ultrasound that I have ever had.  It was in and out, I wasn't even real sure why I had to take my pants off for it.  The ultrasound showed that I have antral follicles in both ovaries.  I was excited to hear this because I was worried that there would not many follicles.  The lining of my uterus looked good and was thinning just like what he wanted to see.

Now, for the bad part of my day....The IVF procedure was supposed to cost $9,000.....Well, when we went to pay it ended up being more like $10,600...Gotta love when this costs more than you were expecting.  Then I call the bank...the appraisal came back quite a bit less than what we were expecting it to come back at.  Now I really wish that we would not have spent as much money renovating the property than we did.  It should help us sale quicker, but definitely won't be making us any more money.  Finally, it seems that I got the Lupron headache...my head is in so much pain that I can barely function.  I sure hope that this does not continue to last because I cannot function at work like this.  I do not understand why every step of this process seems so debilitating.  If it is not one thing, it is another....I just hope that it is all over soon.

Let's Get This Party Started

Well, AF was so kind to show-up three days late.  I am hoping that the extra days of lupron will not mess anything up.  I am excited for my first monitoring appointment in the morning.  I hope that everything is looking good and we can start stimming.  I am still so nervous, but so hopeful that this will be it for us. 

We had a great weekend this weekend even with huge plan changes.  This Saturday I was supposed to be heading over the mountain to Pocahontas County for a Farm Tour and Lenny was supposed to play in the Opening Weekend golf tournament at the Bridgeport County club, but the storms that were heading through our area put a stop to that.  So, Saturday morning I went with my mom to the Spring District Meeting for the United Methodist Women in Weston and then came home and Lenny and I headed up to the Outlets in Washington, PA.  After the Outlets we met one of our friends for dinner at Red Robin.  It was so much fun to catch up with Mike because we had not seen him since right before or after Christmas.  It has been so long that I cannot even remember which that it was.  Today Lenny played in the golf tournament coming in 8th place and I went to church and then made meatballs with the 4-H Interstate Exchange club.  I love weekends where we have so much fun, but I have a ton of cleaning that needs to be done in the house.  Hopefully I will get motivated soon since we have a bunch of people coming over for Easter Lunch on Sunday.

So touched

Today I received some of the medicine that is being donated to me.  I have one more package to receive tomorrow.  Everyday I am amazed with the kindness and generosity that I have been shown throughout this entire process.  It made me cry today when I opened the door and saw my package waiting for me.  The people that I have met through the bump and going through infertility have been amazing women.  Going through this has sucked more than anyone can imagine who has never had to deal with it, but going through it with these ladies some who have suffered so much more than I have has given me strenth and hope to be able to make it through the rough days.  I am so hopeful for this cycle, but I know that no matter what they will be there with support and hugs.

Feeling Stupid....

      Today I had my phone consultation with CNY Fertility Clinic.  I made this appointment before I even scheduled our IVF consult with our current clinic because we were thinking about traveling to New York because even with considering the cost of traveling it was going to be cheaper than doing the IVF here is WV.  CNY does a crap ton more IVFs than WVU CRM.  WVU CRM does about 45 while CNY does well over 300.  I was all set to do my IVF with CNY until the 2009 data came out.  CNY had success rates somewhere in the 30% while WVU CRM was up in the 40%.  After many long discussions with my husband we decided to keep the consultation phone appointment with CNY but to go ahead and pursue our first IVF with WVU CRM.  Unfortunately with either place the likelihood of us being able to afford IVF again is going to be slim to none.
      Now on for why I am feeling stupid....  WVU CRM is doing a long lupron protocol, well today while on the phone with CNY, Dr. Massey said that if they were doing the IVF that they would be doing the estrogen priming protocol.  He also said the fact that I only had for mature eggs when doing my follistim injectable iui worried him about the number of eggs that I would be able to produce during an IVF cycle.  This all just worries me and I wanted to try and be as worry free as I could for this cycle.
      Now for an update on this cycle.  Today was my seventh lupron shot.  Yesterday when Lenny was giving my my lupron shot he hit a vein and now I have a huge nasty purple and red bruise.  It is my first injury from injectables.  I am not sure if I should expect my period when it would typically arrive or if it will be delayed.  I really hope that it starts on time if not before so that I will not have to change my weekend plans.
     Please keep us in your prayers as we continue this process.

Drugs, Drugs, Drugs Everywhere

I have received just about all of my medications that I will need for my cycle.  I have 2 more Follistim 600 in the mail.  Since I am on day two of Lupron injections I figured that now was as good of a time as any to take a picture of all of these drugs.  I hope that this is one of the only times in my life that I will ever need this many different medicines.  The one good thing that is happening is my toe is healing up quite nicely.  It is still really painful,  but I was able to walk a mile and half with evening with my sister in law.  I hope that we will be able to walk at least this much tomorrow.  It feels so good to get outside and be active.

And the Party Begins

Tonight I will begin my Lupron shots.  I am so nervous.  I hope that this is successful, we can only really afford to give this one try.  I am also worried that the Lupron will shut down my ovaries and they will not wake back up.  There are just so many things that could go wrong.  I am praying that everything will go smoothly and we will have a bunch of beautiful mature follies that will all get fertilized and become beautiful embies.  Please be praying for Lenny and I as we start this process.

Easter

I am so excited.  This year we are going to be hosting Easter Lunner (meal between Lunch and Dinner) at our house.  I found the cutest invitations.  I fixed them all up this evening since I was in pain and wanting to stay off of my foot.  I cannot wait to mail them tomorrow.  I hope that my family thinks that they are are cute as I do.

Toe Surgery

I had surgery on my toe this morning.  I am lucky enough to have circular bones in my big toes which causes my toe nails to grow into the sides of my toe.  I had surgery on my left big toe at the end of November, well today it was time to have my right toe done.  I remembered being in pain after the first surgery, but I did not remember it being as bad as it is this time.  My whole foot is throbbing.  I just hope that tomorrow is better than today.  If it is not, it is going to be a long day.  I took some pictures before and after, I wish that I could have taken some during, but figured that would gross people out.

 

Issues with my Body

My Body seems to hate me.  I have a swollen salvatory glad and swollen lymph nodes around it.  They are killing me!!!!  My neck is all swollen and tight.  I just cannot seem to catch a break.  If it is not my reproductive system it is something else.  I am just so ready to be healthy, but I know that will not be happening anytime soon.  Next week I will be having surgery on my big toe.  It has a rounded bone which makes my toe nail grow rounded so they are going in to take off the sides of my toe nail.  It puts me in a lot of pain, but once it is healed my toe will feel so much better.  The bad part is the last time it took about 6 weeks to heal.

BLOOD WORK....GRRRRR

I went in on Tuesday morning to get my blood drawn.  I waited an hour before getting called back for the blood draw.  I get back and give them my orders and I am informed that they cannot draw my blood because they do not have my consent for the HIV test.  The doctor's office wanted to keep the consent form and had the fact that they had the consent on file on the order form.  The phlebotomist refused to draw my blood without the consent form, even though they had drawn Lenny's blood the day before without the consent form.  I was so upset about all the time that I had wasted that I could have saved if they would have not drawn Lenny's blood or the doctor's office had made sure that I would not need the from when going to have my blood tested.  I ended up having to call my doctor's office and the laboratory director to get this all straighten out.  My doctor's office ended up faxing the forms and when I went back to the hospital I was in and out in 15 minutes.  The end was good, but the beginning and middle were so stressful.

IVF Preparations

I went in on Monday morning for an ultrasound to make sure that I did not have any cysts.  There are no cysts and I picked up our IVF packet.  It had all the consent forms and lab orders.  This is all becoming so real, I cannot believe that it is happening so soon. 

IVF Here We Come

I had an appointment with my RE this morning.  The 30 minute appointment that I thought that we would have turned into about a 2 hour appointment.  There was so much information to discuss and digest.  We had two basic possibilities for protocols either the Long or the Short.  With the long you take Leuprolide 14 day kit.  I will start taking this on day 21 of my cycle, then hopefully I will get another period and after this I will start stimulation injections.  Hopefully we will get lots of mature follicles for the Egg Removal and they will get fertilized and then be transferred.  This whole process is just so depressing and hard to understand why this is all having to happen.  I know that there are a lot of people who have been though much worse, but it was just supposed to be easy and this process has been anything he easy.  Most days it is just depressing more than anything else....

Olivia

 

Olivia was my piglet that I had for a day and a half.  My Dad raises pigs and she was born to one of his sows.  She was the smallest piglet that my dad had seen.  I do not thin that she weighed anywhere close to even a pound.  She was such a good little pig and I was really hopeful that she would make it.  Unfortunately she passed way when was was 3.5 days old.  I had never really gotten attached to a pig before.  Growing up on a farm I always knew that they were food.  I think that the events that have transpired this year have changed me.  I think that I really just wanted to have something to take care of and raise.  I balled my eyes out when I found her,  I also had cried the night before when I thought that she might have been getting sick.  Everything about infertility is just so sad....I spend most days being sad, depressed, jealous, and mad.  It is just an awful thing to have to deal with.

IUI #3 Bust

Well, my period arrived today even while I was on progesterone suppositories.  This was the biggest let down because I had 3 to 4 mature eggs and Lenny had an amazing sperm sample.  It looks like I will not be going on my trip to Europe because who knows where we will be with treatments.  Not only that, but IVF costs so much money.  It is going to take all our extra money to be able to afford this.  This is just all so depressing.  I have no clue why people should have to go through this.  It is just so debilitating.  Most health problems that people face are covered by insurance.  You get cancer; health insurance will help you pay for treatments.  You cannot have a baby, it is considered elective and you get to pay for the whole thing yourself.  So, basically when it comes to my health insurance getting plastic surgery is the same as need an IUI or IVF in order to add to our family.  Some days I wish that more people in our legislature (both state and federal) had someone close to them who had experienced problems.  I feel that if this was the case that people who need these procedures would be able to have insurance to cover it.

It looks like we will be on at least one to two break cycles.  I have a call into my current RE’s office to try and see what our next step would be.  I have also called a Fertility Clinic in New York and have a phone consultation for April 11^th.  We are also on a cancellation list.  I am really hoping that someone cancels soon so that we can get our consultation done can come up with our next plan of action.  I am just a planner I hate not knowing what my next step will be.

The one good thing is that our basement project is moving along quite nicely.  I am so proud of everything that Lenny has been able to do.  He is a pretty amazing guy, he can accomplish just about anything that he sets his mind to.

Lenny's Surgery

Lenny went in this afternoon for Deviated Septum surgery.  He has had issues being able to breathe out of his nose and also with his ears being able to pop when going over the mountains.  This is a pretty big deal since we live here in the Mountain State.  The doctors were running a little over an hour behind schedule.  They finally came and took him to surgery at 2:45.  He was in surgery for about an hour which is how long that the nurses said that it would take.  Dr. Merenda came over and spoke with me after the surgery.  He said that everything had went exactly as planned and that all of Lenny's breathing issues should be fixed once the stints and packing has been removed and everything healed.  He said that Lenny should be back over to recovery soon.  Well, soon turned into 2 hours.  I finally went to ask the nurses if he had been brought over at an hour and half, they went to check and he still wasn't over there.  I waited 15 minutes and asked if they could locate him.  They found him in the first recovery.  He was very sick and in a lot of pain.  They finally brought him over.  He was still extremely sick.  The nurse gave him some more nausea medication.  This helped some, but once he wasn't as nauseous he was in a lot more pain so then they had to give him some more pain medicine.  Finally at 7:30 they decided that they were going to admit him for the night, they had to find him a bed in observation.  They finally got him settled into his room at 9:45.  I left to head home to let Paisley and Ally out since they had been caged up since 10:30 in the morning.  I played with the dogs until 11:00 and then headed back to spend the nigh with Lenny at the hospital.  It was a rough night because the chair that they had for me to sleep in was so uncomfortable and Lenny kept waking up in pain.  We finally made it through the night.  His doctor was in surgery all day so the nurse came in and asked Lenny some questions to get him discharged. 

I got him all cuddled into his recliner and he has been there since we got home.  Hopefully his pain will begin to subside soon.   He has his follow-up visit on Wednesday to get his stints and packing removed.

Rock Star Sperm

We did our 3rd and more than likely final IUI before moving onto IVF this morning.  We had to be up in Morgantown at 7:00 for Lenny to give his sample and then had the IUI scheduled for 8:30.  So, we got to Morgantown and Lenny gave his sample and then we went to drop of my prescription and get breakfast at Panera.  It has been forever since I have been to Panera for breakfast.  We went back to do the procedure.  Lenny's washed sperm was rated a 4 this is the best rating that you can get.  Each IUI his sperm has continued to get better, the first was a 3 with the second coming in at 3.5.  This cycle I should have 3 to 4 eggs and with Lenny's Rock Star sperm hopefully it will equal a BFP!!!

Follie Check

I had my final follie check before my IUI on Wednesday.  I had 2 large follicles in my right ovary measuring 17.5 and 18 and then 2 on my left measuring 17.5 and 15.  The RE said that it looks like I could have 4 eggs released and kept asking if I really wanted to proceed with the IUI.  I said of course we wanted to proceed.  For each of my other IUIs I have had two dominant follicles and both of them ended in BFFN.  Therefore, I am hoping with the possibility of adding two more eggs into the mix that we will be able to get our BFP.  I took the HCG shot last night.  This time it was a different shot from the Ovidrel that we had done the last two cycles.  This shot had a powder and liquid that had to be mixed.  I made this Lenny’s responsibility.  He got my shot all mixed up and then I injected myself.  This cycle I gave myself all of the injections.  I am so proud of myself for being able to do this.  I never thought that I would be able to give myself an injection.  I am also so over shots and being poked and prodded.  I know that it will only get worse if we have to move on to IVF. 

I am really hopeful for this cycle to be a success.  It seems like everything is lining up.  If we were able to conceive it looks like my EDD would be my birthday.  Could anyone ask for a better birthday present?

Happy Birthday Lenny!!!

Today is Lenny's 32 birthday.  He had to work the midnight shift this weekend so he did not have a very good birthday weekend.  He had to miss the follie check this morning because he was getting off from work after I had to leave to head up to my appointment.  I have 3 dominant follicles and 2 smaller follicles.  The dominant ones are measuring in at 15.5mm to 16.5mm and then the smaller ones were 12mm.  I am to lower the Follistim injections from 75iu to 25iu plus one click on the Follistim pen.  I have to go back in tomorrow and then hopefully we will be ready to do the IUI on Wednesday.  I just really hope that this cycle works!!!  Everything seems to be moving along the way that it is supposed to be moving.  My lining is building up and I have 3 good follies....Hopefully we will have a great February!!!

RE Appointment

I had my RE appointment to check and see how everything was progressing.  I have 3 follicles on the right and 2 on the left.  They were between 10.5-12mm.  I had been on 150iu of Follistim, after this appointment the RE had my lower the dosage to 75iu.  I go back in on Sunday morning to check the progress.  Hopefully everything will be progressing nicely and we will be able to trigger and do the IUI one day next week.  I am so nervous about this cycle because we have more follies that we have had in the past and I am nervous that the RE will cancel this cycle.  I am also nervous that with all of these follies that I will be too hopefully for this cycle and that the let down will be worse than normal.  Please be praying for me to be able to get though this cycle and for everything to work out and this will be our successful cycle.

Injectables

Well, I am no longer an injectable virgin.  I gave myself my first shot on Tuesday.  I must say I have no clue how drug addicts shoot up all the time.  That was one of the most nerve wracking things that I have had to do.  It wasn't as bad as I thought that it would be.  Lenny offered to give me the shot, but I figured since I travel a decent amount for work that I needed to go ahead and get over the fear of giving myself a shot.  I now have given myself 3 shots…

Another IUI Busted

Well, we just finished up our second IUI cycle.  It is so depressing.  I was really hopefully for this cycle, maybe even more hopefully than I was for the last cycle.  It just seems like everyone all around me is able to get pregnant and I am always just being left behind.  At the end of this cycle when we went to our appointment we found out that I had a corpus luteum cyst that will cause my cycle to be delayed.  This was so disheartening to hear.  With everything else that is going on with my body I did not want to hear about one more thing going wrong.  This IUI cycle we are doing an injectable cycle.  I will start my first injection tomorrow.  I am excited and nervous about this cycle.  I really hope that it works.  I say several prayers everyday paying to be blessed with a healthy baby. 

Blood Work Results

I got the test results back from the three tests that the RE suggested that I have (TPO Antibodies, Anti-21-OH Antibodies, and FMR1 Mutation Testing).  All three tests came back negative.  I was so relieved with the results because I was so worried that I had the fragile factor X mutation.  While this is a huge relief there are still a lot of unanswered questions as to why I have Premature Ovarian Failure, and I am not sure if there are anymore tests that can be run to try and figure out what is going on.  I just hope that this IUI cycle works and that we will be able to move on towards having children.

Unfair

Sometimes I wonder why the world has to be so unfair.  It seems like people all around me are knocked up and they do not seem near as ready in their lives as we are.  Sometimes I wish that I would have had an oops when I was younger and maybe not as ready. 

Then there is always the whole insurance coverage.  It make me so mad at the insurance companies that most do not provide coverage.  I think the thing that makes me most upset is the fact that we have insurance though the federal government since my husband works for the VA Medical Center.  You would think being the largest employer in the United States that they would offer awesome insurance, but instead of having one awesome insurance company they offer like 50 different ones that all have so-so coverage that you have to choose between.  None of them seem to offer any infertility coverage.  You can get Viagra for about $8, nothing for infertility.  I really wish that something with this "wonderful" Obamacare would do something to help infertile couples.  I hope that one day that this will all change.

IUI- 1/13/2010

I always tend to get my hopes up.  Last cycle I was so excited for our first IUI cycle.  I was sure that this was going to be the answer for us.  Well, that cycle was a bust so we moved onto our next cycle.  We did another IUI with Femara and an Ovidrel trigger.  We went in early on the morning of January 13th to do our procedure.  I had two mature eggs one on each side.  It looked like the ovary on the left was getting ready to release the egg when the nurse checked after the procedure and the specimen was closer to that side so hopefully that will be a good thing.  All we need is one little sperm to meet one little egg.

They still had not received the test results back from the blood tests that I had done last Friday.  I am still hopeful that the come back good, but I also would like to figure out why we are having all of these problems.

Only time will tell, but I hope and pray that everything will work out and we will be able to conceive without moving onto IVF.

1/12/2010- Follow-up Appointment

What a weekend I have had.  I traveled to Atlanta, GA this weekend for the National Farm Bureau Convention.  It was a great Convention where I was exposed to so many different opportunities that I would have never been exposed to without this experience.  It also gave me some time to think about farming and not so much about fertility.  On Sunday night Atlanta was hit with a huge snow/ice storm.  The way that they were speaking I think that it was a historical amount.  This made the trip back home very difficult.  I was on the road for over 15 hours yesterday.  I was never so happy to walk into my house as I was last night at midnight.  There were several times during the trip that I was not sure that I was going to make it.  The ice skating rink that we drove on in Atlanta and then the whiteout conditions once we made it back to West Virginia.

This morning at 6:30 we headed up to Morgantown to my follow-up appointment.  I had an ultrasound this morning and I have two mature follicles one on my right and one on my left.  They did an ovulation predictor test and it was very faint so I was prescribed an ovidrel shot for this morning and then we will head back up to Morgantown tomorrow morning for the IUI.  Unfortunately they did not have the test results back for the labs that were run.  Things have been delayed since these were sent out tests by the weather.  Hopefully they will have the results back by early next week.

After the appointment with the doctor we met with the IVF coordinator to discuss our future if IVF become necessary.  I knew that IVF was expensive, but it just really hits you in the face when they give you this information.  Unfortunately my RE does not offer any financing.  I guess that there were several companies before the economy crashed that offered this type service, but their company got out of those loans since the crash.  Therefore, we have a lot of money to come up with to cover the procedures and medicines.  It is overwhelming to think about how we are going to come up with this money.  This whole process is so overwhelming when we have drug addicts having babies all the time....Why does it just seem to not work for me?  I am really hoping for a successful IUI and then we will not have to worry about the IVF.

Now it is just a waiting game.....

Blood Work

It seems like all I ever do is have blood drawn.  With the ovarian reserve issues that I am looking at the doctor is trying to find the issues to see if we can figure out why my reserve is so low with my age, because I should not be having these problems yet.

I am going this morning to have blood drawn for three tests.  I am hoping that these test will come back good, but I am a little nervous that they will not.  The tests that I am having are TPO Antibodies, Anti-21-OH Antibodies, and FMR1 Mutation Testing.  Once we get back the answers to these tests it will allow us to have more information about what we need to do next.  I hope that they will be back by my appointment on January 12th, but I know that they are send out tests so I am sure that they probably will not be back.

Follow-up Appointment 1/5/2011

We went up this morning to the RE's for my CD (Cycle Day) 3 appointment (even though it was only CD2).  At this appointment we found out the (AMH) anti-mullerian hormone test that they had done in December, came back at 0.5 which shows that I have low ovarian reserve.  This means that I may not have many eggs left.  The RE is not sure why that I have such a low reserve.  I am going to be have several blood tests done to check and see if I have any antibodies that might be attacking me.  The RE also suggested doing one more IUI and then move onto IVF.  The IVF is so expensive!!!  I am not sure if we will be able to find a way to pay for it.  I just keep praying that this IUI will work and that we will not have to worry about moving onto IVF.  We will be meeting with the IVF coordinator before our appointment on January 12th.  I have also called another RE's office in Pittsburgh because they might have more financing options.

On top of all of this.  I called my insurance company the insurance that I only got because I was under the impression that they would cover my fertility meds.  I called the company to to find out what they would cover during my open season at work.  I was told that they could not give me any information because I was not a current member, but I could look at the formulary and specialty medicine list and that would let me know what was covered.  I called today to see what my co-pay would be for several drugs that the RE mentioned that he might put me on.  Of coarse there is excellent coverage for all the other drugs on this list, but Fertility Drugs have to be paid 100% by the member.  I just love my luck.  I was hoping that 2011 was going to be better than 2010.....So far it is not starting out that great.

Welcome to My Blog

I have decided to write a blog about Lenny and my struggle to become parents.  We started trying in September 2009 and found out that we were pregnant in November.  We were over the moon.  I never thought that it would happen so quickly.  We went to our first appointment at the beginning of December and were able to see the heartbeat.  We ordered engraved Christmas Ornaments and planned a dinner to share the news with our families.  We had another appointment on December 31st.  At this appointment the doctor could not find the heartbeat with the Doppler so he suggested an Ultrasound.  The ultrasound showed no heartbeat either.  We were crushed.  The next week the miscarriage took place.  I never knew how attached that you could get to someone that you never met.  We were told by our OB that we should wait for 3 cycles.  We waited the three cycles and I started charting.  During this time I noticed that I had quite a bit of midcycle spotting.  I saw an OB about this and they did an ultrasound to check and make sure that I had passed everything.  Everything checked out.  I was still having spotting so I met with another OB and we did blood tests which came back good.  After trying for a year I asked for a referral to an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist).  We had our first appointment with the RE on November 9th.  At this appointment we discussed our history and everything that we had went though in the last year.  The RE suggested that I might have low ovarian reserve.  They also did a semen analysis (SA) on Lenny.  His SA came back with above average volume, but below average morphology and motility.  I had a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) and that came back that my tubes were open.  The RE suggested that we try an IUI.  I took Femara from CD 3-7 and then did an Ovidrel injection to cause me to ovulate.  We did the IUI on December 17th.  On Monday after the IUI I started progesterone.  I started my period on January 4th.  We were deviasted again.  We were so hopeful that this would work for us.......